Week 1 in the Field

Ok so there is so much to email about so I decided to break it up into 5 different subject headings and will tell you what order you should read them for the sake of time.

1. Stand out: Just funny stories about how big (literally) of an oddity I am here

2. B-ball: This story is pretty funny

3. Number 2: This story is hilarious but do not read if you don't like potty talk or plan on dating me after I get back

4. Jungle hike: This story is mostly just crazy and pretty cool.

5. The people: Mostly telling of the faith and generosity of the people here.

Stand out

 OK as I expected I stand out a ton! What I didn't expect was the reactions of the people to how much I stand out.

To explain this I'll tell you about one of the lessons I taught. Ok so me and my comp were teaching a lesson to this family of about 10 people and at the end I say do you have any questions? (Yeah not my best move) Suddenly all the kids start yelling "Bakit puting ka?" which means "Why are you white?"  Yeah I didn't have an answer to that one. I can totally tell them what the meaning of life is but "Walang sagot" (No answer) for that question. So basically I said I don't know.  Any other questions? This time the grandma of the fam asks "Why my eyes are blue?" To which suddenly an argument is sparked about what color my eyes are. So they ask me and I say green. Knowing better than to ask for more questions, I ask who wants to pray and hopefully end the shenanigans.  So we pray and I stand to leave and suddenly all the children gasp because they didn't see me till I was already sitting.  So they didn't see how tall I was. 

Also while I'm on the subject of height everything is built for Filipinos so I hit my head on stuff a lot! I feel like Gandalf when he is in the hobbits houses.

It has seriously built my testimony that I haven't gotten a concussion. 

Also our teachers warned us that the Filipinos are painfully honest so I was totally becoming Ok with all my faults and getting ready to get roasted all the time. But instead all I get is them being like wow "Subrang gupo ka" (you are very handsome) Yeah I was told the girls liked white guys but I didn't expect them to be so forward. Especially in the middle of lessons. Like I'll be bearing my testimony, hard core, thinking trying to translate my feelings into Tagalog and suddenly they will interrupt me "Subrang gupo ka" to which I used to reply "Salamat po" "thank you" and then I'd completely forget what I was saying but now I just pretend I didn't hear it. 

Also I've had a few parents come up to me asking me to marry their daughter or even worse the girls come up asking me to marry them. To which I just reply "Bawal ian" (That's forbidden) ironic that the one time in my life girls are interested, it's while its forbidden. Also for those of you that are worried about me doing something stupid with a girl while I'm here just know there is no temptation. I'm too scared to drink the water here, there is no way Imma be kissing any girls.

B-Ball 

Before I tell this story you have to know how much Filipinos love basket ball. Everyone plays b-ball here you'd think short Filipinos wouldn't like a sport that favors tall people but they love it! 

Anywhooo when my comp saw me he just assumed I'd be amazing because of how tall I was. Well anyone who has seen me play b-ball knows I'm terrible. Well one of the mornings me and my comp went to play b-ball for exercise time and oh boy were they disappointed! All week they had been calling me Lebron James because of how tall I am. Yeah they don't call me that anymore! When they saw me start playing all I could think of is the part in the office when Michael sees Stanley play b-ball for the first time (It's in the episode titled basketball if you don't know what I'm talking about) I tried to warn them!

Number 2

OK so since I got my call I've heard the joke shake with the right wipe with the left a ton and always just assumed they were joking. I'm here to tell you they were not. I noticed the first day I moved in that there wasn't any toilet paper.  But decided not to worry about it till the time came well... the time came and it came hard. Just before I went in to do my business I asked my comp just to make sure "Hey do we have any toilette paper?" "wala" and then he points at a water bucket by the toilette... yeah so I went in and sat there deeply contemplating the decisions I had made preceding this.  Later I found some tissues so I've been using those up till now but we get to go shopping today and you best believe I'm getting me some tp! (low key pray that I can find some)

Jungle Hike 

Ok so my second day my comp says basically we gotta go teach this fam so we start walking and all of a sudden we start going up this trial straight into the jungle and I'm just following because I have no idea what I'm doing (that would be the title of the book that I would write about my mission so far) and suddenly we get into the clearing and see this lil' fam' making some food. First thought was pleeease don't offer me any ...yeah ends up she was preparing it because we were coming. So yeah basically what it was was noodles in a clear broth with meat. Oh yeah and the meat still had hair. Also the dad then asks me something in Tagalog which I don't understand and my comp then translates and says "Do you like coconuts?" so I'm like "Opo" (yes) and then then the dad whips out a machete, climbs a tree, and gets us coconuts. 

Anyways we ate the meal using her dishes which have been in the jungle and im told the tap water isnt safe to brush my teeth with so yeah i know for a fact the dishes we used were not clean and i felt terrible because i know this is the best they have to offer and its a huge sacrifice for them but i have just had such a good life. anywho i said a quick prayer begging god to allow me to eat this without getting sick and then chowed down (the amount ive done that strangely has a direct correlation to the amount ive eaten at members houses) so far i feel great! another miracle.

The People

OK the people here are awesome! Everyone is so nice! Especially to me because I'm white which sounds like I'm being racist but its straight up true! 

But I wanted to tell just how humble everyone is here. One of the members comes up to me says something in Tagalog and hands me and my comp a coke and when I asked my comp what he said my comp said "He was going to buy himself some food but when he saw us he decided to buy us a coke instead." Seriously such a nice guy! (This made his mom cry)

Also a woman we talked to told us about how she was once rich but because of a hurricane she lost all her money and was living out here in Malaya which is basically jungle. Everyone here has nothing and she told me she was grateful for this because it brought her to the missionaries. So awesome! 

I will be honest though we have a huge problem here with inactivity which is super frustrating for me but then I realized its my job to lead them to Christ and whether I am successful or not I continue to try and continue to love them. Even if it is hard and even if I feel like it isn't working. 

Overall the people here are amazing!

Love you all please continue to pray for me and them. I know this church is true. Sorry for any spelling errors the place I'm emailing from is dark and I only have an hour. I'll send pics on another email.

- Elder Roberts

No photos again this week. Hopefully he will get time to upload some on P-day this coming week.